I am so looking forward to this weekend!
It is ONE on Sunday. I am helping with the setup on Saturday then prepping food Sunday afternoon.
I am just so stocked to be volunteering again! It really gets me pumped up to helping out with great things!
For this weekend the best thing for me will be seeing all the smiling faces when they receive & eat their food.
It would have been wonderful to have some friends show up there, but I guess I will have to make new ones this weekend.

Got laid off from another job again today; and only after two weeks this time!
What in the world is going on!?
I am hopeful that it won't take very long this time to find some new work and it would be great if I could be in a field of work that I actually like. :-)
Until that happens I will be trying to find side jobs like mowing lawns and such. Yippy

Wal-Mart

So I found my self going from a good mood to depressed mode just by walking through a Wallie World tonight.  Then the fact that I felt that way made me sad, cuz I just wanted to be a bright part of these peoples day, but I couldn't quite do it.   Does that happen to anyone else and is it really even our place to try and be what we're not even if for the noble cause of making someone else's day better?

That's it for now, will add more later.

Places

So I have a number of people open there houses to me and I have just now realized somethings.

The people with less money actually enjoy having me more then people that are well off.

Why is that?

A difference I have come to notice is that former don't have a problem with making their request, guide lines, and/or expectations know.  The latter on the other hand, for some odd reason are so much more vague.  Maybe because in a sick way they are giving guide lines and what not by not saying much at all.  Expecting you to be just as motivated and out going as them selves.

I'm sorry, I am really really sorry, but I just can't do that!  I don't know why, but I just don't think that way!

I wish I did.

I am really good at having someone give me an objective and completing it to my full capability.

I can do one really well, but not the other and I don't know why.

Yeah some people that know me will say I have seen you take anitative in things.  That may be true, but it takes a whole lot of time and work to get my brain to think and then do those kinds of things.  

I am so scattered "up stairs" that all I want to do is sit around and pout on the inside, because I know I what to do something; escpecilly for someone else.  Yet I don't do anything cuz I can't get order into my mind.

I HATE THIS!!!

What!?

For some reason as of lately, it is kind of bothering me when people say stuff like "maybe God is trying to tell you something through this or that".

Why can't things just be because that is what is happening; does everything difficult to understand have to be about God doing something in your life.

Is everything good in life due directly linked to God doing something in your life?

It just bothers me so much when people end conversations short just by leaning or pinning everything on to God!  Why can't there be real conversations in conjunction with what God is doing?

I am having trouble!

I have no idea when my world is going to stop shaking!
It is so hard to function in a team.
I don't know why, I have always worked in teams and done jobs very well.
I don't know what the difference is here.
I wonder what is at the root.
I suppose the best thing is to look at it like I am in the wrong.
That way I have a better chance of figuring out if it actually me.

But I always feel like it's me anyways.
Stupid self hatred!
Always getting me in trouble!

God will see me through as long as I take time to go to and be with him.

chow

Saying something!

I am totally saying something right now, is it exciting!
I love saying stuff all the time!
I say things all the time!
I never stop saying this and that!

"this and that" good bye!